Today I got a text from a friend who’s Dad just lost his battle with brain cancer. As I was telling my wife about it my 9 year old, Judah, overheard the conversation. We stepped outside a few minutes later to toss the football around and he asked me about it. As I explained to him that being a good friend meant that we sympathize with how the other person must be feeling and pray for them from that place he got a little choked up. He said “I don’t know what we’d do without you Dad”. I told him we hopefully won’t have to worry about that for a long time. Then he smiled and said…

“Dad…if you die will I get the XBOX 360?” Me…”yes”. Judah….”so you’re saying there’s an upside?”

I don’t think I’ve laughed harder in a long time. How did this kid get my sense of humor?! What’s the craziest thing your kid has said this week?

My kids both prayed “salvation prayers” at early ages. They’ve both heard the Gospel, but it can be easy to forget the beauty of the story. This morning we were having our family devotion and my 9 year old son, Judah, said he wanted to ask the family something. Here was his question. “Are we doing enough to get into heaven? When Jesus comes to decide who gets in, will we have done enough?” It created the perfect opportunity for us to revisit the Gospel.

We turned over to Ephesians 2:8&9 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith–and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God, not by works, so that no one can boast.”. We spent the next few minutes talking about the beauty of the Gospel story. That Jesus died for us; paid the price for us; so that through His sacrifice we could have eternal life. That our hope doesn’t rest in our ability to keep a prescribed set of rules. That obedience doesn’t come from a place of fear of retribution but out of a place of gratefulness for salvation.

Judah responded by saying (tearfully) “you mean God gave His only Son for us just to give us this gift of eternal life?!”. I haven’t heard John 3:16 said with any more heart and thankfulness than my 9 year old described it.

The Gospel is beautiful. Can I get an amen?

Saturday I got some news that rocked me. My friend, Arielle Parker, was killed in an auto accident. You can check out an article about her here. I connected to Arielle and her family about 4 years ago in a deep way through a week at camp with them. You know how you connect to certain people and know immediately that not only do they love Jesus, but you were meant to be friends? That was me and the Parkers. Just amazing people.

Needless to say, Saturday was a punch in the stomach. I can’t imagine how the family felt but I know my family wept along with them. Some young people exude a sense of love and joy that makes other people wonder what their secret was. Arielle was one of those kids. Everything I ever saw her do said “I care about you” and “I’m sincere about loving Jesus by loving you”. She was an amazing person whose future seemed infinitely brighter than I think she ever had a handle on. I’ve yet to hear a bad story about her and doubt I ever will.

As I hung out with the family on Sunday and cried, laughed and prayed together I was shown some of God’s grace through this. Her cousin told me about a video she had made for her brothers about her being “gone to school”. That video obviously has a different depth and meaning now. I also heard about her stepping up and out in front of a huge crowd to share the gift of her voice in worship in a way that probably surprised even her. I heard about “cousin day”, trips to a favorite restaurant, faithfulness to Jesus and a life well lived by all accounts.

Even in the midst of those graces the question of “why” lingers on. I doubt we’ll ever know and I doubt I’ll ever understand. But this I know…we do not live as those that have no hope. Paul said this to the church at Thessalonica “Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope.” (1 Thessalonians 4:13) It’s moments like these when that hope has to fill our hearts and the comfort of the Holy Spirit comes alive in us. As I cried with her mother she asked me to sing “I want to sit at Your feet…drink from the cup in Your hand…Lay back against you and breathe…feel Your heart beat”. They were lyrics from one of Arielle’s favorite songs to sing “The More I Seek You” by Kari Jobe. Then Djuana said the words that still echo in my heart. She said, “I guess that’s what she’s doing right now”.

May the God of all peace sustain our hearts, enlarge our hope and further focus our passion and intentions on Him alone.

I’m way too conscious of other people. My wife always tells me that. I tell her that it’s my Paul-esque gifting of “being all things to all people”. She thinks that’s cute. The truth is I do care what other people think and I’m jealous of people who don’t. People who are themselves, stubbornly and without apology, regardless of where they are or who they’re with. In some cases I feel sorry for them because they’re inflexibility won’t allow them to grow past a certain point of their own tolerance.

But most of the time I’m just jealous. They just seem completely unconscious about what others around them might be thinking. Impervious to the looks of “what are they doing?!” that may or may not be going on in the room. I don’t think these people callous I just think them alive. Fully aware of who they are and totally unconscious to whether other people are loving it or not.

In many ways I want to live more that way. I do feel like it’s part of my leadership gifting to be able to serve others and be aware of their needs. But I’m learning to draw the line between “I care about you and want to serve you” and “I care about what you think about me and want to be liked”. It’s an important distinction I think and one I need help making.

How about you? Do you live unconsciously or are you looking over your shoulder wondering who’s with you?

So today (let’s face it…) this week’s post might get me in trouble. What fun is life if you can’t get in trouble occasionally, right? I grew up Pentecostal. Not the blue-jean skirt, bee-hivin’ it Pentecostals, but people with a deep passion to connect to God and allow His Spirit to move in them Pentecostals.  I’ve been around the Church world for a while now. I’ve been in dry churches (I’m talking churches so dry that they make beef jerky look like a juicy filet mignon) and I’ve been playing keys in a particularly exuberant church when the pastor’s wife turned around to me and said (and I quote) “These people are crazy!”.

I’ve been in traditional Good Friday services and “soaking” services. I’ve helped lead 48 hour worship services and done the 12 minute worship sets on Sunday morning. I went to the Brownsville Revival but skipped the latest Florida “revival”. I’ve heard Ed Stetzer, Mark Driscoll, John Piper and Rick Joyner speak. I’ve read books by everyone from Spurgeon to Brennan Manning, Leonard Ravenhill, Dallas Willard and Andy Stanley to A.W. Tozer. I haven’t seen it all but I’ve at least scoped out a lot of the block.

I long to see God’s work accomplished. I believe in 1 Corinthians 12-14 and believe Acts 2 is still relevant today. I believe in the active work of the Holy Spirit in the lives of believers. I pray that God would do things and perform miracles that would blow our minds and leave no doubt that the glory for those things belong to Him and Him alone. Unfortunately, I’ve seen a lot of people who major in “experience” but minor in evangelism (and I’ve been guilty of being one of those people). I’ve witnessed amazing things like seeing my Dad’s leg healed miraculously after it was broken as a 10 year old boy. There have been intense moments of worship that felt like nothing else I’ve ever known and I’ve had people tell me things no one but God knew about my life. And it’s easy to let that be an end unto itself.

Here’s my real question. Can there be a genuine “move of the Spirit” if it doesn’t ultimately result in more people being drawn to Jesus and the people touched by it being moved to see people who are lost become found? I don’t think it’s possible. The Holy Spirit came to do many things including convict the world of sin (John 16:8), testify of Jesus (John 15:26) and empower believers for service (1 Cor. 12-14). I’m not saying that the Holy Spirit won’t encourage, uplift and fill us with joy. I’m just pointing out that His biggest concern is not our emotional state but rather that the character and person of Jesus is being built up in our lives and others are drawn to Jesus because of it.

I’m all for the emotional engagement of God and His active presence in our lives. I’m all for hearing from Him and seeking Him in prayer and asking Him to make Himself known to us. I just believe that if those things are happening then the fruit of them HAS to be us caring about lost friends and loving each other more. If the fruit of the Spirit isn’t following what we’re calling the work of the Spirit then was it ever the Spirit at all?

I cringed as I typed that but sometimes the hard questions have to be asked.