I posted this in 2010 but it couldn’t be truer of where my heart is today…

All I want to do is something that matters. Honestly. I want to wake up every day feeling like the things I’m heading toward matter to more than just my wallet. I know I have a job to do and mouths to feed, but if the truth could really be told I’d say that I really just want to know that what I do today will echo somewhere else. It’s just not enough for my heart to maintain the status quo.

I’m deeply crying out for the courage to do something real and radical. I want to see life change. I want to invest in others. I want to be more like Jesus. I want to matter. But I don’t want to matter in a way that makes me important. I want to do something that matters in the lives of others. Something that makes them more significant, more valued, more loved and leaves them feeling embraced by Jesus. And I know I’m not the only one.

Here’s the other scary thing I know. There’s someone else waiting on me to make a difference too and there’s someone waiting on you to find the courage and faith to live life loudly. I’m praying that God never stops pushing my heart towards more of Him and the life He wants me to live. I hope I never stop wanting to matter.

This past Sunday our church reach the culmination of our series “Beyond Me” and gave our people a chance to change the world. The journey to this specific day started in February for our staff but it started much longer ago in the hearts of the pastors here. I’d like to take a couple of minutes today and tell you that story and invite you to play a part in what God is doing here.

Six years ago I met Daniel White in Colorado. He was working for a radio station at the time and we enjoyed some time fishing and hanging out together. That friendship continued on whenever we’d see each other throughout the years. A couple of years ago, Daniel went to work for Food for the Hungry. Our lone mutual friend (when we first met), Warren, became an artist for FH right around the same time. I’d been familiar with World Vision and Compassion but quickly became familiar with FH and their vision.

Three years ago when the transition from traditional to relevant church model took place, our Lead Pastor and Missional Pastor began to dream about being able to partner our church on a long-term, life-changing endeavor together with another body of believers somewhere else in the world.

In February I went to the re:create Conference in Nashville. FH just so happened to be there (*sarcasm) and Daniel just so happened to be the rep for FH and they showed us the Live 58 film. It was moving to say the least. FH shared their vision of churches partnering directly with other communities. It sounded just like what we had been praying for.

When I got home our Missional Pastor and I got on the phone with Ben from FH to talk about this idea of community sponsorship. He began telling us some of the areas that are harder to reach and just so happened to share about Indonesia. As he shared the plight Christians on the Mentawai Islands Brian and I were deeply moved. What I didn’t know at the time is that Brian’s Mother is Indonesian. For him it was more than just a story; it was part of his lineage.

What I began to see is that God had been orchestrating this moment for much longer than I imagined. For me, the Love Mentawai movement of our church began in Estes Park, Colorado while fly-fishing 6 years ago. It began for Brian many years before that.

I don’t know if you’ve ever been a part of something you knew with all you had been directed by God for you. It’s an amazing feeling and one that requires radical faith and action. In discussion with FH we found out that the average response for a sponsorship Sunday at a church is 10%. We are a church of 200 adults but we knew that 20 kids was not what all this preparation was meant for. So we asked for 300 children to sponsor. That’s not a misprint. 300 kids for 200 adults.

The day we culminated our series about living “Beyond Me” we showed the Live 58 film and 173 adults in attendance. Tomorrow morning we are mailing out 129 sponsor cards and have about 10 more we are waiting on being returned to us. That’s a 75% response rate!

We are humbled and grateful that God would choose to use us to Love Mentawai. Now we are expanding our reach and passion to see the rest of those children sponsored. If you’d like to know more about how you can help us reach our goal of 300 children sponsored simply click here or click on the Love Mentawai banner on the sidebar of my main page.

If you’d like to know more about FH, how they operate and how much of their money goes directly to the field; I’d be glad to tell you all about it! Leave a comment or shoot me an email! Let’s Love Mentawai! Together we can change the world!!

I just got caught up on the story of a friend whose daughter is very sick. My email just pinged with one of our members undergoing some scary tests. Tuesday night I was shown a video depicting (graphically) the aftermath of abortions. I spent yesterday with some friends from Iran and heard story after story of how Christians are persecuted there. We’ve spent months researching the state of poverty in our world today as a staff.

I’m sitting at my desk in tears.

There’s a ton of suffering going on in the world. Those of us who belong to Jesus have a natural sympathy to the pain around us. And most of us don’t know how to handle it.

I’ve come to the conclusion that there are only two options. Bury your head in distractions or let your heart-break.

I’ve spent a lot of my life having moments of heartbreak only to be followed with living with distractions. Removing reminders that others are suffering and unwillingly forgetting what I already know. We’ve all been there. It’s that commercial about starving children or dying animals that we automatically look away from. I do this mainly because the world is big and I can’t fix it all. It’s easier to live my life with my family and remember others in prayer when it comes to mind.

That is such an easy way to live. But I believe we are called to more.

I believe we are called to have hearts that break. Romans 12:15 says as much. “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” Several times in the Gospels it says “Jesus was moved with compassion”. The movement of compassion is the trigger that leads to action.

I think that’s the reason we distract ourselves. We know, deep down, that we can’t just impassively see suffering so we choose to ignore it. We know we can’t endure injustice so we pretend as if it isn’t happening.

We rationalize it well. “The problem is too big and I’m too small”, we may say. And we’re probably right. But Jesus didn’t call us to a life determined by our own infinitesimal abilities. He called us to a life committed to Him and lived out in faith and hope. The faith that if we do what we can, where we can; He’ll do what only He can do where we can’t. The hope that says; “I may not be able to change everything, but I CAN CHANGE SOMETHING“.

So here’s my encouragement to you (and to me) today. Let your heart-break. Don’t shut it down and don’t stifle the tears. Let them roll down your cheeks and feel deeply the pain of others. Because if we let our hearts break, then action is never very far behind.

*If you’re local to the Garner/Clayton/Cleveland/Raleigh area, I’d love for you to join us this Sunday at 10AM. We’ll be changing the world that day…don’t miss it.

This would be a good time to remind you that the views on this blog are personal and in no way reflect an official view of the church (Quest Fellowship) that I work for.

This week in North Carolina there was a vote on Amendment One. Amendment One reads:

Constitutional amendment to provide that marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State.
I’ve stayed pretty quiet on this and avoided Facebook on the day of the vote. Yesterday I had a chance to catch up to what had been said there. It was an interesting bit of reading to say the least. It all boiled down to these two camps.

Camp One (for the amendment): Being gay is a sin and I’m for amendment one. If you disagree with me, you are obviously a sinner. Nothing you can say will change my mind.

Camp Two (against the amendment): Being gay is not a choice. That’s makes this a civil rights issue and if you are for it you are a bigot. Nothing you can say will change my mind.

What was missing for me was this; we’re ALL people loved by a Savior and people that Jesus is longing to save. He longs to save us from ALL of our sins. Homosexuality is a sin and so is that third cheeseburger I ate. Being drunk is sinful and destructive just like tearing down my neighbor through slander and hate is sin.

I know that Christians may feel like we are in an untenable position. We believe (I should say most believe…I have friends that don’t share my viewpoint on the Bible’s take on homosexuality) that homosexuality is a sin along with a number of other things. It’s heartbreaking to see sin becoming so casual in the place that we live and raise our children.

It’s my belief that most Christ followers love gay people. It’s my strong belief that if they don’t, they should. I believe that most Christ followers would love (above anything else) to see Jesus do for the homosexual what they pray Jesus is doing in them; making them free from the desires of their own and making them more like Jesus.

The problem is that the conversation around Amendment One did nothing to help toward that end. It made it an us against them situation. I saw Christians attacking other Christians and people without a relationship with God mocking other people’s faith and attacking their intellect. I doubt many people walked away from Facebook Tuesday feeling loved or drawn closer to Jesus.

And I believe that made the devil smile.

I’m sure we’ve all dealt with our fair share of jerks. People who only care about their own agenda and what’s best for them. Always looking out for number one no matter the relational cost to others.

I’ve dealt with a few jerks in my day. I’ve even been one on more than one occasion. Early in my ministry life I was a doormat for those jerks. I valued relationship and “living peaceably” so much that I would allow things then that I would never stand for today.

I grew up in a denomination that was very much like family. My first step outside of that held a rude awakening for me. Back then I was a sax player first, a beginning keyboard guy and wanna be songwriter. I sang as well but was content just directing the band and facilitating worship however I had the opportunity to at the time.

I got to a “big” church and volunteered there. I sang a couple of Sundays over my first few months there. Then one afternoon the worship leader sat me down to have a chat.

“Adam, you won’t be leading worship anymore. Because if I let you lead worship, people will figure out you’re better than me…”

It’s a moment I’ve never forgotten. In retrospect, I’m sure he felt he was doing the right thing. And it probably took guts to confess that to me. I, however, walked away with hurt feelings, frustration and thinking he was indeed a jerk. But, that moment changed my leadership forever.

I decided I never wanted to be that kind of leader. I determined that I would share my platform and be generous to others. His jerkness helped shape me in a way that his goodness to me probably would not have. That moment was the first of a couple of moments where it’s been clear that God had ordained some people to share their jerk sides to teach me things I wouldn’t have learned otherwise.

Now when I run into someone who’s intent on being a jerk, I wonder if God isn’t prodding them on.