I recently found my high school band director through a friend on facebook. I’ve wanted to say thank you to him for a long time. Here’s what I emailed him:

Mr. J,

It’s Adam Herod. Not sure if you’ll remember me or not. I was a sax player at Terry Sanford graduating in ****.

At any rate, it’s nice to see what you’re up to. I wanted to drop you a line to say thank you for the influence you and Mrs. J had on my life. I thought you’d like to know that music is now my profession and passion. I am a worship pastor here in Raleigh after spending time in Atlanta and Virginia Beach.

I’ve used a lot of things I learned from you in my musical journey. (especially the “if you’re going to make mistakes, make them big”) (more…)

I was watching The West Wing last night while I couldn’t sleep and this scene was in that episode. The young lady in the scene wants to say thank you to a teacher who is retiring and has asked for the President to issue a proclamation for her. I’ll wait until you finish…

This scene moved me and I’ll tell you why. I’m moved by a lot of things, but consistently I’m moved by people making a significant impact on the lives of others. It’s why some of my favorite moments in life haven’t been musical or public. It’s the phone call from an old friend telling you how much you meant to them. It’s sending an email to my childhood pastor to tell him “a lot of what I do has a little ‘Steve’ in it. It’s the teenage drummer crying when I left my last church because of our friendship. It’s receiving an email that says thanks for your encouragement or sending an email that thanks someone not for what they did or do, but for who they are to you.

Relationships matter to me. Honestly, I’m not that moved by title or position. I love the opportunity to lead, but the opportunity to impact others is what motivates me to keep going. Be encouraged all of you who give your life trying to make a positive difference in the lives of others. Someday you’ll get your call too. The one I’m hoping for is “well done good and faithful servant”.

Is there anyone out there who is missing a moment like this phone call from you? You might not be able to get the President on the line but I’m sure they’d love to just hear it from you.

The title of this post won’t be a shock to those who know me. I’m not a fan of walls, rules, consequences (for me…big believer in them for others), concrete and stiff mattresses. The only things I really like being impenetrable are my house, car and the airplane I’m flying in.

*DISCLAIMER* I’m very thankful for the heritage that I’ve been given and the passion I was trained in to study scripture, believe in a God who is close to us and to treasure His truth and presence.

With that said, I grew up in a denomination that, at the time, was pretty rigid. Don’t wear jewelry. Don’t wear wedding rings. Don’t wear shorts. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. In some ways I think we could have played Tesla’s “Signs” in a worship service and people would’ve been into it.

At my first church job I had a 16 year old ask me in all seriousness; “Baptists aren’t going to heaven, right?”. (Don’t worry @EdStetzer I told him you guys were golden. Like Ed ever reads this thing:-) I was like WHAT?!?!? I think that kind of upbringing had something to do with my disdain for concrete.

Don’t get me wrong. I believe in absolute truth. I believe Jesus is the only way anyone gets to know God and gain eternal life. I’m not talking about walls of divine truth or clear guidelines for holy living.

I hate the walls we make. Walls of denomination. Walls of worship styles. Walls of race. Walls of “if everyone else was just more like me”. And here’s why…

I went to a conference that was filled with hardcore reformed speakers and attended widely by students at a local Southern Baptist Seminary. I would not consider myself reformed, didn’t go to seminary and am a charismatic believer. But I learned a TON! I was inspired by the commitment to the Word, to Jesus and to His Church. I had God reveal things in my heart that needed to be repented of and I had my dedication to His purposes strengthened. I know friends that would not have gone because of the walls they’ve erected in their hearts.

I’m in no way saying “don’t belong to a denomination” or “don’t ascribe to a certain stream of theology”. Don’t get it twisted. I get that we all have a place of deep belonging, but I also understand that there is a greater Body beyond the one I meet with on a weekly basis. And here’s the real deal. I believe God is HUGE. Bigger than our walls. So broad that our walls can’t contain Him and by hemming ourselves in we diminish a full picture of who He is.

I’m not saying embrace every teaching under the sun, but I am saying embrace every brother and sister. The reason I hate walls is because I believe my particular outlook on life, minuscule understanding of God and personal worship preferences can’t contain the whole of the greatness of our God and that other people, with other viewpoints can help me see Him more clearly. I’m on a lifelong pursuit to know Him in “the fellowship of His sufferings and the power of His resurrection” and I believe that pursuit shouldn’t be restricted by walls that He didn’t put up.

How can you reach beyond your own walls and learn from someone else?

BTW you can check out audio from the sessions by clicking here. I’d recommend Mark Driscoll’s talk on “Ministry Idolatry” for any of my ministry friends.

I had a thought today. (congratulatory notes accepted) Could one of the reasons that people leave in leadership transitions in churches be because we as leaders have failed to connect them beyond ourselves to the source of our passion and drive? Could it be that we may have led well, but not really introduced true community to the people we led? I do understand that sometimes people will leave when you exit. It’s happened to me in places. I get that people enjoy different styles and connect to various leaders/pastors in a special way. I still resonate and connect with people I helped lead/pastor in various churches but, if I’m doing my job well, I’m steering every one’s heart toward Him. A proof that ministry is done well, in my mind, is that when you leave people stay because their connection to God is deeper than a personal connection to you.

One of my personal practices in this area is to deflect all the praise to God and accept criticism for myself. Not to be self deprecating, but to steer people to God in the good and to walk with them through the bad. I’m finding that continually refusing to embrace praise and pushing to embrace community is one way to deepen the bonds of friendship and also build the relational capital to help steer people’s hearts past minutia to what really matters.

When it’s all over, I doubt the Lord is going to ask me how well people resonated with me personally. I feel He’s much more likely to ask how much of my life I spent steering people to the only true hope in this world.

How do you steer people closer to Jesus and deeper into community?

I love twitter and facebook. I really dig the idea that I can connect to other folks around the country/planet and get to know them. I’ve shared phone conversations/coffee/lunch/hang out time/halo/iChat/tokbox with people I either a) wouldn’t met otherwise or b) lost touch with, all because of the new and beautiful world of social networking.

But, some (if not most) of the people I’m called to serve in the local church setting don’t get it.

There’s even some that don’t like it.

Think it’s a waste of time.

Not interested in connecting over facebook/email/twitter.

Folks that in my social networking world wouldn’t be “cool”.

People who are just as much in need of life change and someone to love them where they are as all my connected friends. People who need friends and go about sharing life in a totally different way than I do.

I really would love it if everyone was like me and communicated and shared life in the same way. But then again, wouldn’t that make life boring?

I’m trying to figure this out because, at the end of the day, what matters to me is seeing people connected to and embraced by a God who loves them whether they’re “plugged in” or not.

How do you connect with “offline people”? You can talk about them freely because they’ll never read this anyway.