I recently found my high school band director through a friend on facebook. I’ve wanted to say thank you to him for a long time. Here’s what I emailed him:

Mr. J,

It’s Adam Herod. Not sure if you’ll remember me or not. I was a sax player at Terry Sanford graduating in ****.

At any rate, it’s nice to see what you’re up to. I wanted to drop you a line to say thank you for the influence you and Mrs. J had on my life. I thought you’d like to know that music is now my profession and passion. I am a worship pastor here in Raleigh after spending time in Atlanta and Virginia Beach.

I’ve used a lot of things I learned from you in my musical journey. (especially the “if you’re going to make mistakes, make them big”) (more…)

Over the last few weeks I’ve been forced to have some really transparent conversations with several people. You could say I’ve killed a few elephants. It’s not been my favorite thing to do. When it comes to stuff about me, I’m really an open book. In many ways I’m way too transparent of a guy. But when it comes to “speaking the truth in love” with others (especially when that truth involves difficult topics) I would rather love and cover than reveal and confront.
*Disclaimer: I always love and cover people in front of others. I’m speaking about revealing and confronting directly with the person(s) involved.*

One of the challenges of being a leader in the church environment is our mandate to help others see real life change and create an environment of family. It is easy (and some people prefer) to just let things shake out however they shake out. Allowing things to just go under the radar and never addressing hindrances to true and honest relationships. What’s been amazing is that I’m finding that the more willing I’ve been to just get things out in the open the easier it is to move on and see improvement.

The Bible says “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17) This verse speaks a few things to me.

• God puts us in relationships with others so we can sharpen each other.
• If you’re going to get sharper, sometimes sparks have to fly.
• There’s two ways to stay dull. Avoid relationships altogether or never let relationships get past the place of clashing.

God allows us to be family so we can help each other grow. I believe that requires us to create an environment of transparency and acceptance that enables true relationships that reach beneath the surface. Most relationships aren’t big enough for elephants to live in. I’ve been encouraged to go to others and confess my frustrations and/or mistakes, confirm my love for them and, in some cases, just agree to drop the past and choose to move forward.

What conversation have you been avoiding that is stopping your relationships from going deep? Who’s the person you need to “reset” your relationship with and green light them to speak into your world?

Many of you probably saw my friend Mike Craig sitting with me at church this week. Mike is like a brother to me. Scratch that, he is my brother. I’m exactly a month and a day older than him and enjoy telling people that I’ve known Mike his entire life. I was thinking on the value of his friendship and what it means to me. That made me think of a mutual friend of ours, Walt Smith, as he’s the third of this trio of brothers. (there’s more guys who are like brothers to me, but trio works better for this story)

It dawned on me that Walt wouldn’t have been my friend if Mike hadn’t led him to Jesus. Talking with Mike about it, I found out that he told Walt on his side porch that he “was going to hell if he didn’t come to OUR church”. While Mike’s theology might have needed some work in our younger years, Mike’s willingness to reach out didn’t just change Walt’s life but mine as well. Walt is a great friend. Always ready to go the extra mile to show he cares for me and my family. The first to apologize in a fight and the last to hold a grudge.

I don’t have many friends like Walt. Most people will unfortunately go their whole life without a friend like him. Many times I look at evangelism as only a means to get people into heaven or connect them to Jesus, but I was hit this weekend with the fact that Mike’s act of personal evangelism had a huge impact on my life. I have another member of my family, because Mike cared enough to reach beyond himself and tell Walt about Jesus. Personal evangelism changes more lives than the one you’re evangelizing. Whose world could you change today through personal evangelism?