I’ve been in youth camp the last few days here in NC. This is the camp that I grew up going to. This is where my heritage is. I first felt called into ministry in the back of this chapel and surrendered my musical gifts to the Lord on this altar. I’ve had the chance to worship with old and new friends and it’s been a great opportunity for me to come back and minister to kids around the same age I was when all those things happened for me.

We’ve had some marathon worship times this week and our speaker has only hit the stage twice. It’s been a great time of sensitivity to the Spirit and seeing kids interact with God. Last night was a pretty intense. As we began to worship a simple song came forward that I felt the Lord was directing at one of the brothers at the camp. I called him up and began to sing three simple words. “He is faithful.” One of the pastors here got up and spoke about God’s ability to seal and keep us. After worshiping for a few more moments we felt the Lord was calling us to give an invitation for people to receive prayer. It was a powerful time of seeing God impact people’s lives and speak words into their lives.

I prayed for several kids last night and the Holy Spirit revealed specific words for most of them. We talk a lot in our church about Spiritual Gifts and it is always great to see them in true operation. We had tongues and interpretation, words of knowledge, wisdom and prophecy. I’ll be honest and say that I’m always amazed when God decides to speak directly to a person’s situation and destiny. He has a way of cutting through to the heart of the matter. The fact that He loves us and died for us is amazing enough on its own. The truth that He remains invested, interested and involved in our daily grind and the over-arching destiny of our lives is almost mind blowing for me.

After having prayed for several kids I walked back to my cabin tired, humbled and fulfilled. Sometimes when God decides to use you in a meeting in a specific way pride is lurking at the door. I could feel myself feeling good about what had happened. That was when it was time to remember that I am completely unworthy. My usefulness to God is only there because my righteousness is not in myself. Whenever I feel a little pride creep in because of something God is doing in my life, I remember the words of Paul. He said:

I had a great chance to worship with two great friends this weekend. Tony Sutherland and I were at my boy Mike Craig’s church. My friends Wayne and Jaron showed up as well and it was nice to just have some free worship time with friends. Mike and I have literally known each other our whole lives. We are a month and a day apart and our parents attended church together when we were born. Relationships with that depth are rare and I’m very thankful for him and what his family and friendship mean to me.

During one of our worship times I felt the Lord tell me to just seek Him for who He is. I so often find myself seeking the Lord for specific things. Some direction here. How to handle a situation with a worship team member there. Here an issue, there an issue, everywhere a issue, issue. I felt a distinct sense of needing to lay some of that down (although there is nothing wrong with praying for/through issues) and just spend more time seeking Him just to know Him more.

So tonight in my office, I was praying for some of our worship team, for some friends and also just talking to the Lord asking Him more about Him. I was specifically trying to understand a certain aspect of what He is doing in my life that I don’t understand. I heard this in my heart; “Sometimes you just need to embrace the mystery. Don’t get so caught up in trying to “figure” Me out. My ways are higher than yours. My thoughts are higher than yours.”

There are so many things I may never understand. Why the God of all the universe would love and choose me. Why He would come and die. Why He would create us in the first place knowing that that was the eventual outcome. Why He speaks through people like me when several people are more qualified. Eternity? How does it work?

I’m glad to serve a God that I can’t figure out and am going to take more time to “embrace the mystery” of who He is and just enjoy Him.