My daughter turns 8 today. One of the things we get our kids on their 8th birthday is an email account. This will be the first emails she sees. I’m including the picture I attached:

Hey Mercy! Today you turn 8 years old. I remember clearly the day you were born. Even before that, I remember finding out that we were going to have a little girl and being so excited to get to know you. I think your Grandpa might’ve been the most excited we were having a little girl. He loves spoiling little girls! It seems like just yesterday you were sleeping on my chest without me having to hold you at all you were so tiny. It’s hard to believe that you’re growing up so fast. I can tell you this; I love everything about you, Mercy.

I love your quick wit and full laughter. I love the way you get my jokes and are learning to tell your own. I love your determination to figure everything out. I love your creativity and that you’re always trying to “sell” your art. I can already see some of the ways that God has put His special stamp on your heart. I love that you’re still a snuggle bunny and it makes my day when you give me one of your sweet kisses and hugs (And you’ve been doing that for a long time. You’ll see what I mean when you see the picture.).

It’s difficult to describe how you make your Daddy’s heart come alive. You are a precious gift from Jesus and I’m eternally grateful that He gave you to me and Mommy. I’m praying for you that God will continue to form His heart in you. Happy 8th Birthday my precious gift. Thanks for being who you are, the joy you bring to our family and always being my Cinderella.

I love you Mercy bird and I always will.

Love…Daddy

She was 19 when we got married. I was 21. Since that glorious day we’ve fallen out of puppy, pretty love and have settled into what I’ve come to know real love is. Love that is gritty and raw. Love that tells the truth even when a lie would be easier to manage. Love that refuses to give up on the other person even when they (meaning me) deserve it. Love that can lose its white-hot intensity at times but never loses its fire. Love that wakes up in the morning and chooses to love and be loved. Love that clings to each other when the rest of the world falls apart. Love that never fails.

We’ve got our bad days just like anyone and sometimes love has been hard work. But God has used Misty in my life to show me what it means to be loved. He’s used her to teach me things I wouldn’t have learned without her. He gave me the gift of my children through her and she has been my “Jesus with skin on” more times than I can count.

We’ve grown up together and now I’m looking forward to growing old together. If you’re reading this babe (and I’m sure you are) thanks for being my confidant, love and joy. You’re still the joy of my heart and your smile still makes my day. You’re still my “precious, perfect gift”; my angel.

1. Get really, really fat.
2. Make small adjustments and watch the pounds fade away

Truthfully that’s how I put myself in position to lose that much weight is having that much to lose. I lived as undisciplined as one could live. I had a nasty Coke habit. Not that coke…the soda. I would throw down 60-100 ounces a day. Sounds crazy right? I’d start the day with a large Coke (28 ounces) then have two more at lunch (56 ounces) and two or three more at dinner.

The first step in my weight loss process was slaying that glaring problem. I haven’t had a soda in at least 4 months. I can’t even remember the last time now. Do I miss it? Yes. Will I drink again? I hope not. That first 15 pounds was easily the soda calories peeling away. But that really wasn’t the first step. The first step came through the nagging (in a good way) of my wife and a hard conversation with a friend.

Misty (my wife) had been concerned with my health for some time and we had a “come to Jesus” conversation about it earlier this year. The next day a close friend called and I decided to tell him about Misty’s insensitivity and garner some guy support. As I told him about it he uttered the sentence that marked the beginning of my transformation. He said:

“You’ve played the funny fat guy long enough.”

You know that Scripture that says “faithful are the wounds of a friend”? Yeah, that’s where that comes in. After I got over that shock my friend gently said (OK…not too gently), “Is Christ the Lord of your life? Have you ever given Him Lordship over the foods you eat?”. Through that conversation I realized I’ve never really given Jesus Lordship over what I eat and the decisions I made when it came to food. I always said the heart wants what the heart wants. And that excuse catapulted me to where I found myself this year.

My friend challenged me to pray that God would change my appetites and that I’d view food and diet as a spiritual discipline. So that’s what I’ve done. I’ve been using an app on my phone LOSE IT to track my calories and exercise. It’s been an invaluable tool in helping me manage what I eat and make healthier decisions. You can jump on there and be my friend. The accountability it provides (weekly email reports, friends on the app) have been another huge support.

One of the biggest eye openers on this journey is seeing how I was leading my family without even knowing. You’d be amazed to see how the family’s eating habits have mirrored my own. My son is trying salads now and the vegetable complaints from both of my kids have zeroed out. It’s been an encouragement to find what other ways I’m leading my family unintentionally and be more intentional about those things. I’m so thankful for my wife and friends that aren’t afraid to tell the truth. I’ve got longer to go on my journey to optimal health but we’re getting there. Forty pounds is nothing to sneeze at!

So now we’ve come to how you can help me celebrate my weight loss.

For those of you that don’t know me I have a passion for the Church; specifically the persecuted Church. I’ve done some work over the last couple of years talking about the viability of social networking as it pertains to spreading the Gospel in closed countries. I received a call a few weeks back inviting me to go overseas and share with believers ministering in a closed country about how they can utilize Facebook, Twitter and blogging to reach people who wouldn’t otherwise hear about Jesus with His Truth and Love. This is a trip that I believe can have long lasting, viable impact and could lead to people who don’t yet know Jesus coming to know and love Him. And isn’t that what it’s all about in the end?

It’s been a dream and prayer of mine to see find a way to be a contributor to the Church in places where the Gospel isn’t welcomed.  I’d love to invite you to help me make this dream a reality. You can donate to this trip by clicking below. If 40 people (one for each pound, see?:) gave $40 that would cover the expenses of my trip and provide some extra training for me so I can be as ready as possible to make the largest impact I can. 

quick update: A donation in ANY AMOUNT would be welcomed and extremely helpful.

Please click below to donate and thanks in advance for helping me celebrate!

My heart has been tweaked and cracked over and over again in these last few years. It wasn’t that I was oblivious before it’s just that brokenness just seems to jump out at me now. I recently had a dinner with a young friend. He had just lost his job and has two family members desperately without hope and direction. Another friend’s Dad starting drinking after 20 years of sobriety. His marriage is over. Someone very close to me had their Mother do the same thing. Her family is losing hope that she’ll recover this time. My best friend called me today; right before he had to go and lead worship at the funeral of a 6 year old little girl.

I’m praying for a Twitter friend who’s little girl drowned and is now miraculously recovering (thank God). I heard a story just this morning about a local firefighter who couldn’t have children and was blessed with twins only to have them both suffer SIDS on the same day.

Joplin, Japan, Alabama, Haiti, Raleigh. Homes lost and peace shaken. Friends without employment or recourse. Families having to search for jobs that provide housing so they’re no longer homeless. Churches doing their best to be the hands and feet of Jesus.

I see so much brokenness around me and it drives me. It drives me to my knees to thank God for His mercy and goodness in my life. I have healthy children, a loving wife and a happy home. Everything else is gravy. It drives me to ask God for His glory to shine through the brokenness and pierce the darkness surrounding those I love and those I’ll never meet. It drives me to ask; what can I do to help? How can I make a difference?

We all see brokenness. Some of it is abstract and some of it is disturbingly personal. So my question is this. How are you reacting to brokenness and how can I pray for you?

Here’s my encouragement wherever you find yourself today. Don’t let brokenness drive you to despair but rather;  find hope in the God who does all things beautifully in His time.

I had a friend. At least I thought I had one. Turns out I was wrong.

There’s been no big blow up. No breaking of trust. No major jerk moves. Just coming to the realization that some relationships that I defined in a certain way have been clearly defined differently by others.

I guarantee if I talked to some of these people they’d express the usual “I’ve been busy” and “No our friendship matters to me”. But the proof is in the texts that go unanswered and the emails ignored. It’s in the the refusal to create time to hang and connect.

Have you ever been there? Have you ever felt like you were really connecting with a friend, co-worker, pastor or peer only to have the reality that the other person certainly didn’t feel that same way? For me there’s been times where I clearly knew that that “connection” I felt was simply “right now you serve my purpose”. And there’s been other times when the busyness of life just created too much space.

Some friendships are worth fighting for and others just need to be let go. Being a social person built for connection, I find the latter the most difficult.

Here’s where this gets difficult for me. I just wrote that (and I meant it) but the problem is I see myself in it. I think about God. His love, commitment and depth of relationship. Then I see the unread Bible; the unsaid prayers; the self-focused life. I wonder if God (who I know doesn’t “wonder” in a theological sense) is saying the same thing about me that I’ve said about my “friends”.

I want to live so that God never says “I had a friend…”.

Are there any relationships that you need to make that tough call to today to clear up some of this feelings? Are there friendship you need to redefine in your mind? Is there someone you need to make sure feels their value to you?

There are scriptures that describe the way that wicked men pursue their death. (Proverbs 11:19) The most thought provoking thing I’ve read is “How should we  have reacted when Hitler died?”. I don’t know how Christian leaders reacted when it happened and would be interested to know. It’s difficult to imagine not taking any sense of justice/reciprocity in knowing one of the world’s most evil men met his demise.

The bottom line for me is this…

—I feel like a hypocrite for getting self-righteous at all about “we should feel bad this guy died without Jesus”. Some people say that 150,000 people die without Jesus every day. To not weep for them and then feign sadness about this one man doesn’t mesh for me. That probably means I need to up my thoughts about people who die without Christ but it’s the truth.

—I’m happy for the families that this will bring closure and peace to. This world is broken and their hearts have been since that September day. My fear is that our talk about what the “proper” response is could rob someone of their right to have a human response just like David did in several places in the Psalms. What I’ve always loved about David’s stories were his honesty before God and I think it’s a guiding example for us.

—I think rejoicing over anyone’s death is not a great response but I understand why some people are. It speaks to the brokenness of our world and the brokenness of our hearts. It is a victory for our military people who have been working so hard to find him and for that I’m proud of the work they’ve done and the justice that’s been served. I’m not saying it’s God’s justice, I’m just saying that it feels like justice to me. I wouldn’t have been out in the streets in front of the White House but sitting on my couch I was proud of our military and thought the President nailed his speech.

—I’m scared for what this does to people sold out to the devilish ideologies he espoused. Wrath normally stirs up more wrath and angry people usually don’t get suddenly better when the person they’ve built their world around is taken away.

Here’s the last thing I’ll say (in this post) about it. What would have been even more interesting is if Osama would’ve come on TV and told us of his conversion to Christianity and his Damascus road experience with Jesus. You think we’re having a debate now? Just saying that would’ve set the evangelical blogosphere on fire.

Father…You know me. Inside and out. The good, the bad and the worst. The fact that You choose to love me any way is beyond me. Always has been. Always will be.

Here’s my prayer today, Lord. Let my character reflect Christ’s. Let my words be His and my thoughts be driven by the Holy Spirit and not by my clouded vision. In so many ways I feel like I should be further along. Holier. More disciplined. Better. I’ve been trying to walk with You most of my life and see every day the ways in which I fall short. In a way it’s depressing. It drives me into a pit of self-doubt and lack of worth. The funny thing is when I go to that pit I find You there. Waiting for me. Waiting for me to find the end of myself so You can be all.

So I’m there today Lord. I’m in the pit and ready to acknowledge again that without You I’m nothing. That Your righteousness alone saves my soul and my righteousness stinks up the joint. Ready to beg You again to fill me again. Help me to find my way to Your cross, Your sacrifice and Your peace.

I want to know You. In the fellowship of Your sufferings, the power of Your resurrection and all that means; whatever that means. Thank You that You are mine. Today I pray again…I am Yours.

In Jesus’ perfect name…amen.

Last night I was reading 2 Timothy and came across this passage:

1 Don’t be naive. There are difficult times ahead.2 As the end approaches, people are going to be self-absorbed, money-hungry, self-promoting, stuck-up, profane, contemptuous of parents, crude, coarse,3 dog-eat-dog, unbending, slanderers, impulsively wild, savage, cynical,4 treacherous, ruthless, bloated windbags, addicted to lust, and allergic to God.5 They’ll make a show of religion, but behind the scenes they’re animals. Stay clear of these people.

2 Timothy 3:1-5 (The Message)

As I read through the list I was doing a little personal inventory. There’s 20 things on that list and I probably struggle with five. I was pretty pumped. Fifteen out of twenty isn’t too shabby.

Later I was telling a friend of mine about it over Skype and he said:

Those are the 5 that you know about.

Good friends speak the truth, even when it stings.

Here’s what I love about this record:

• It’s Shane and Shane’s local church. That’s automatic cool points, right?
• The lyric writing is definitely their own. They’re not trying to be something. They are something.
• You can hear the church singing. It takes me right in and reminds me of Paul Baloche’s “A Greater Song”. Great congregational feel.
• Bethany Dillon on the song “I Want Your Presence”. It was my favorite song and one I could see using (especially if Bethany decided to come sing it).
• There were a couple of outstanding, unexpected grooves.
• I could worship with it.

I hate writing anything critical because I really am enjoying it but it might not be much of a review without something negative, right? Here’s what I was a little so-so on:

• I got a preview of the album and there was a couple of production moments where one track would be louder than another starting out but would correct. Probably an oversight that got caught in post-production after this went out.
• I mentioned that they were inventive in their writing and with that creativity is the risk that some people won’t connect on every song. I found myself disconnected at some points.

Here’s some songs that I could hear the local church gravitating to (truthfully there isn’t a song that couldn’t easily be used):

• I Want Your Presence–my favorite song on here. Great sense of worship.
• Everything’s Different–Great song of adoration and praise
• Worthy of Affection–I’m really growing to love this one. The congregational “holies” at the end will get you.
• I can imagine that Shane’s reading of Revelation of 21:21-24 will get some play from worship leaders that hear this.

All around this is a solid worship album with some great worship moments from a local church that has obviously put in the time to create a worship culture and write songs that reflect the worship in their community. It’s a beautiful thing and something I think most of us that are songwriters desire to see in our churches. Thanks to Kirk Graham and the folks at The Oaks for allowing me to listen and review. I can’t wait to try some of these songs on for size in our worship experiences at Quest Fellowship.