honestly
(Welcome to the new blog. The older posts you’ll see are from Merge Worship (my former blog) but Merge Worship is shutting down for now. I’m glad you decided to stop by today. Take off your shoes, drop your mask at the door and make yourself at home.)
My heart has been a little wrecked recently. There’s more than one explanation as to why that could be the case but none are really worth rehashing here. I was surprised by the way my heart has been revealing itself recently. Just the other day I sat down at the piano and this chorus came flowing out:
I want to tear down the walls of apathy and make believe
Take off the mask I wear of everything is perfect here
I wonder if I will ever find a place where I can just be me
I want to live…honestly
Now I hadn’t been doing a ton of thinking about living honestly but I will say that I live (and have for the past couple of years) in a state of what I call “holy discontent”. My heart has been heavy with the desire to be a great leader, a phenomenal Dad, a wonderful husband and a difference maker in the world for His sake. And the truth is that on any given day I feel like I stink at a number of those things but I don’t know who I’d actually say that to. I have a great wife, amazing family and wonderful friends but some days I still feel all alone.
In many ways I think I just want to be able to be real. Human. Honest. Broken.
Do you ever wonder if you’ll ever find honesty? Do you ever dream of a place where you can share all your stuff and hear truth and love in response? I do.
Great blog post Adam. Sometimes the cost of 'not being a stumbling block' is high. My old Counsellor told me once to "be who you really are, and let others deal with the weight of it.
Thanks for sharing. I'm always amazed when people share their heart, that we are so much more alike than different.
Thanks Kim! I appreciate the encouragement.
I've updated my RSS Adam. Look forward to reading more.
Thanks Andy!
dude. love it. thanks for the email!
thanks John! I'm loving wordpress and the Standard Theme made it beautiful! Next time I'm in the ATL I owe you coffee/lunch/something. Thanks for stopping by bro.