I usually wait to write my posts (especially the more passionate ones) until after the initial wave of emotion has passed. I’m not doing that today. We’ll soon find out if that’s a horrible idea or not.

A fair amount of my time is spent reading, listening to or engaging with Christians. For the most part we’re a tame lot interested in the betterment of others and serving Jesus with our whole hearts. Most of the folks I’ve met through social networking, the worship and music industry and missions work are people truly committed to Godly relationships and friendships. With that being said, there are things I read or hear on a weekly basis that literally make my stomach turn.

I grew up pentecostal and have worked in the charismatic church world most of my adult life. I believe in the power of the Holy Spirit inside of believers and long for God’s voice and work in the lives of all Christians. However, if there was a dollar for every time a “charismatic” believer celebrated the gift (or their gifts) more than the giver, there would be enough money to make Kenneth Copland blush. I remember being in a meeting once where someone went through a list of things to give God praise for. Salvation (small cheer). The Holy Spirit (nominal response). The “fact that some of you will get out of debt this year (WILD, enthusiastic praise). I wanted to puke.

I hate our judgmental attitudes but think it’s a loving thing to talk about sin plainly. I hate when we sell people on a God who’s biggest asset is His ability to solve their money problems. I hate when we think tearing each others theology apart is the most important thing we can do. I hate it when hype stops us from pressing in and truly experiencing the life-giving presence of God together. I hate it when people pimp spiritual giftedness for personal recognition and ego stroking. I hate when we elevate our “thing” to be a God thing. I hate ridiculous book burnings, sign holding and preaching solely about how much better believers we are than those folks at that “other church”. I hate feeling like we’re better than others because of what version of Scripture we read or whether or not we were predestined to read that version or not. But the thing I hate the most is when people say things that are “God” when they clearly aren’t.

I know I’m going to get ripped that this isn’t loving enough so let me end it this way. The reason these things make me sick is that I deeply want people to know and be engaged by God. And the crap that goes on only serves to distract people from the most rewarding and life giving relationship they could ever have. It’s been said before, but Christians can certainly be the biggest obstacles to people experiencing Christ there is.

I love Jesus. I love His Church. I love His people. And when we are so off-centered we distract people away from His all-surpassing glory it makes me sick to my stomach.

God save us from ourselves.

I just heard this morning that Zac Smith passed away yesterday (You should check out his blog. He had some amazing things to say during his battle with cancer). I didn’t know Zac personally but had connected to him via twitter and had been praying for him. Zac was a young man with a young family and my heart is heavy for them today. Add that to a fact that I had a dream about randomly connecting to Matt Chandler who’s fighting his own battle with cancer now and my Mom’s battle (that she’s winning btw) with cancer and my thoughts this morning are quickly drifting to Psalm 90.

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. (Psalm 90:12)

When things like this I’m always thinking about the brevity of my life and how I want to spend it doing what matters. In many ways I have moments of significance surrounding me every day. But what I’m coming to realize that my purposed “search for significance” is actually a deep desire to live totally for Jesus. My heart aches when I know He doesn’t have my all and tears come quickly when I think of how much more I could (and should) give to and for Him.

I recently started a song reflecting on these thoughts and thought I’d share the first draft chorus of “Life is too Short”:

Life is too short to live without purpose

Life is too short to live it afraid

Life too precious to live it out selfishly

Life is too short to not count my days

My prayer for today is that the internal countdown in my heart will lead to more passion for Jesus and greater action in my steps to follow Him. How do you count your days?

I thought I’d post some “best of” stuff occasionally here. Not much critical acclaim here, just some posts that I’ve received some response on (or that I’ve just really liked). I hope you’ll enjoy them. This post is from Oct. 2008

Over the last few weeks I’ve been forced to have some really transparent conversations with several people. You could say I’ve killed a few elephants. It’s not been my favorite thing to do. When it comes to stuff about me, I’m really an open book. In many ways I’m way too transparent of a guy. But when it comes to “speaking the  truth in love” with others (especially when that truth involves difficult topics) I would rather love and cover than reveal and confront.
*Disclaimer: I always love and cover people in front of others. I’m speaking about revealing and confronting directly with the person(s) involved.*

One of the challenges of being a leader in the church environment is our mandate to help others see real life change and create an environment of family. Continue Reading…

Just a forewarning…this is NOT for the faint of heart. May God break our heart for the things that break His. Please read what my “online friend” Matthew Paul Turner wrote about today. You can find him here.

When I read this post I literally wanted to throw up, cry and sell my stuff all at the same time. I hope it moves you as well. I normally don’t just paste other people’s things here, but this story is worth retelling. Here’s what MPT wrote today:

I went to the gym yesterday afternoon.

I saw Carl (<-changed). Carl is one of my “gym friends,” which means I’m only friends with him because we go to the same gym. Carl’s a sixty-year-old retired business man who plays tennis five days a week. He’s considered one of the “good ole boys” at the gym. But I’m not so sure; to me, Carl seems much to kind and soft-spoken to be a “good ole boy.” Often, Carl and I will chat for a few minutes. Nothing serious. Usually, I just listen to him tell stories about growing up in West Tennessee.

Yesterday, Carl and my conversation went like this…. Continue Reading…

I’m up late tonight. Maybe not late for me, but late for most people. I’ve got my headphones in (now would be a perfect time to scare me), some NBA on and prayers going on in my heart. My prayers are all over the map when I’m praying with other people. But when I’m alone…

When it’s just me and God my prayers are eerily consistent. God help me love more. Help me give more. Help me be live more. I. Need. You. There’s a dozen other regulars on that list but what I’ve noticed missing that would’ve been there 5 years ago is “bless me”.

Bless me has been replaced with help me. And I think that’s a beautiful thing. I’ve realized that more than His blessing I long for His love. And more than His favor I long for His friendship. And I crave being right a lot more than being ‘known’. My heart is wrecked tonight by Psalm 27:8. “My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”  Your face, Lord, I will seek.” I find in the quite moments of life I’m consumed with just wanting to know Him and be found in Him.

I’m glad Jesus never sleeps. Because my heart needed this tonight…